Normally the Action Flick Chick is ALL about the action, but in anticipation of Halloween she has graciously joined forces with Crackle to deliver a review of one our on site horror flicks. Just remember, she rates them on ACTION FIRST! For more from AFC, check out her website today!
Holy shiitake mushrooms, Silent Hill is one scary ass movie. Starring Radha Mitchell, Laurie Holden, and Sean Bean, Silent Hill focuses on a mother/daughter duo going on vacation to the daughter’s birth place. Now, wait a minute before you rush to watch this movie on your next mother/daughter night. What really spices up this flick is that the daughter is adopted and has some kind of scary unknown past, and her good ole’ home town is pure evil, replete with some scary ass monsters, not to mention some scary ass cultists. Alright, now you can go watch it.
Radha Mitchell plays the mother, Rose while the daughter, Sharon, is being played by Jodelle Ferland. Sharon is troubled by her evil past and begins to sleep walk. Rose can’t take it anymore so she decides to take Sharon to her home town of Silent Hill to see what’s going on. She learns very quickly that this was a friggin’ mistake. Sharon runs off into Silent Hill and Rose goes after her. You know, sometimes it’ss just time to let your little girl grow up. If she wants to run away to a scary town that’s her decision. What is she? Like 8 years old. Time to let that little sparrow fly free, baby.
What I really love about Silent Hill is the awesome, scary music and the monsters. It has all the right music to make you squeal like a little girl, and some of those monsters could make you pee your pants even with “Candyman” from the soundtrack to Willy Wonka playing. “Who can make the sun rise, sprinkle it with dew, the Pyramid Head can make your death come true.” Shudder.
The monsters are another great aspect of Silent Hill. There’s Pyramid Head, which looks just like his name describes only freakin’ horrifying. Then there’s the Nurses. These are well endowed, skimpily dressed nurses but then you look at their faces and they’re fresh outta those! Then you notice that they are all carrying blades or knives of some sort and they’re twitching closer and closer to slice you up. Talk about being confused. They’re really nice to look at but they are trying to kill you. I’m sure they’ve gotten a lot of easy kills on guys who were too busy admiring their cleavage to notice their lack of faces. Awesome! What more could you ask for from a horror movie?
Now, some critics say that it sucked and it is a little too long. Well, they suck! This is a good movie to watch with all the lights off and just enjoy the scares. However, I will concede that it was a little too long. It was just past 2 hours and parts of the flick are really slow. It is super scary when it picks up, but that only happens sporadically throughout the flick. Basically, when you hear the air raid sirens go off, you know it’s about to get real. At first you don’t really know what the air raid sirens mean, they still sound creepy but you are still innocent to the horror that is coming. It only takes the second time of hearing the sirens go off that you learn poop goes down when you hear that siren sound, and you’d better run and friggin’ hide. Of course, as an audience member, the anticipation of what’s going to pop up is half the fun.
Bottom Line: Silent Hill is terrifying, but a little too long. There isn’t a lot of action, but it is a great movie to watch for a fun frightening night.
Time Until You Cross Silent Hill City Limits: ~ 14 minutes
Big Bad Baddies: Who the hell knows. Everything and everyone is evil. That fence is evil. Those desks are evil. Your shoes are evil.
Best Line: “What the f*** is going on?” You took the words right out of my mouth, lady!
Best Kill: Spoiler Alert! Pull on your rain coats and the squeamish should look away because it is about to get bloody! First, you hear the sirens which, if you recall, means the crap is about to hit the fan and all the spooky things are coming out. A teen girl, Anna (Tanya Allen) is dawdling, throwing rocks at a “sinner” when she should be running for the church. A Pyramid Head appears out of nowhere behind her and picks her up. He rips off her clothes. Just when you think social embarrassment is her punishment, the Pyramid Head rips off her SKIN! Awww! Then he flings the “Anna-skin” at the closing church doors just in time to sling some blood onto the survivors. YUCK!
Best Explosion: Nope, no explosions in this one. There were a lot of fires though.
Introducing Best “Here’s Your Sign” category: Rose was looking around a building in Silent Hill and says, “Looks like there was a fire.” No, the Boy Scouts’ annual weenie roast got a little out of hand and left smoke damage everywhere. As we all know, Boy Scouts are famous for their careless fires and reckless partying.
Action Rating: 1 ½ Pyramid Heads, out of 5.
Illustration by Alex Langley. Rocket Llama World Headquarters
This is the Action Flick Chick, and you’ve just been kicked in the ass!
Tags: action flick chick, horror, Jodelle Ferland, Laurie Holden, Radha Mitchell, Sean Bean, silent hill
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[...] Silent Hill (2006) – Action Flick Chick review for crackle.com. Wrong Turn (2003) – Action Flick Chick review for liveforfilms.com. twitter – too much activity to sum up here. @actionchick’s following passed 26,000 and the Chick started appearing on hundreds of the new twitter lists. [...]
This is so awesome we reviewed the same film for Halloween. As a big fan of the game, I really enjoyed it. I heard a sequel may be in the works. If it happens, I’m definitely planning on checking it out! Great job on the review!
[...] http://blog.crackle.com/2009/10/28/the-action-flick-chick-reviews-silent-hill-2006/ [...]
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Crackle and Crackle, Action Flick Chick. Action Flick Chick said: My guest blog for @crackledotcom: Silent Hill (2006), terrifying but too long http://bit.ly/7czb4 [...]