When you live like Neal Bannen, the law isn’t usually on your side. The Chief is the top cop in The Bannen Way and his rules of life can be boiled down to something as simple as, “To serve and protect.”

The Chief may not be as wily as Bannen, but he does have age and wisdom on his side. The Chief is a pragmatic, tough love, kind of guy who doesn’t want Bannen sullying his town. Yet he still manages to have a protective streak for a guy that others regard as a lost cause. He’d prefer that Bannen go straight rather than “go away.”

For Neal and the Cheif it’s a matter of putting the “tough” before the “love.” After he’s caught pickpocketing — his third strike — The Chief is forced to throw him in the clink. Now the thing that may block the Cheif’s goal of a better Bannen is a stretch of hard time … so The Chief presents Bannen with a difficult decision: the big house, or turn states evidence on the mysterious Mr. B and risk having the mob chase him for the rest of his life.

Despite their rocky past, The Chief can’t help but feel guilty for using Bannen … but what else can he do?

Last week you met Neal, this week it’s The Chief. Who will you meet next week? Come Back next Friday for more insight into the the premiere web event coming this January to Crackle: The Bannen Way

Welcome to the kick off for a new weekly series here on Crackle, where we will be featuring a new fan every Friday. Today’s spotlight falls on Jeana Keller. Normally you can find her on Twitter or on her blog, but today you can find out all about her right here:

1. What’s your name?   Jeana Keller
2. Where are you online (social profiles), and how did you choose your screen name? Twitter and blogger screen name StuffSmart.  When I started blogging so many of the names had been taken.  It just came to me one day and stuck.
3. What is your favorite website of all time?  That’s a difficult question.  My current addiction is Twitter.
4. How did you hear about Crackle?  Twitter
5. What is your favorite movie, and why do you like it so much?  Family Man…Nicholas Cage is my favorite actor.
6. What is the best quote from that movie?  “Promise you won’t kidnap me and my brother and plant stuff in our brains?”
7. For you, what is the most important component of a movie? The characters and that the storyline works.
8. Strangest movie you’ve ever seen?  The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover

Thanks again Jeana! Want to be next Friday’s featured fan? Well, to tweak a phrase from Indiana Jones, “Only the attentive fan will pass…” Tune into the Facebook Fan Page each Friday and play “Faceoff Friday,” where we black out a scene from a classic movie in Crackle’s library. Every couple hours we will unveil a new portion of the photo and the first fan to correctly guess the movie will win a featured post the following Friday. It’s that simple!

So jump on over to the Fanpage , and stay tuned for today’s “Faceoff Friday” post.

Chad – Community Manager

I am not a nurse or a doctor, and I certainly don’t consider myself an expert on child birth, seeing as how that is a feat I haven’t performed … yet. But I am aware of the world around me, and I have watched some shows on the Discovery Health Channel and TLC. I also once read a hilarious labor and delivery nurse’s blog in its entirety. I figure all this qualifies me as semi-aware of how the whole process works.

When I started watching Bewitched: “And Then There Were Three”, in which Samantha finally gives birth to Tabitha, I expected that the episode would show its age. For one thing, I expected Darrin to be waiting in the lobby, smoking: and indeed he was. I expected them to show Sam perfectly made up after the birth without a hair out of place: and indeed she was. I did not expect the following nonsense.

The nurse, (Eve Arden), has utter control of the baby and spends more time with it than Samantha, Darrin or the doctor combined. The birth is described (in limited detail) to Darrin by Endora. Darrin then goes to see Samantha, who is (of course) night-gowned and smiling. The nurse brings in the baby and Sam, without a tear in her eye, HOLDS THE BABY FOR THE FIRST TIME! What?! When Darrin leans over to look at his new daughter and the nurse barks, “Don’t get too close!” Darrin isn’t seen holding his baby during the entire episode. “Nurse Crabby” won’t even let him sit on Sam’s bed, and kicks him out of the room because his, “… wife’s had enough excitement for one day.” Endora pops in after he’s left and asks, “Have they let you hold her?” which only confirms my suspicion that the hospital is controlling the infant that she carried in her womb for nine months!!!

Later, Darrin is gazing on his daughter in the antiquated nursery. Endora shows up and asks why no one is looking in on her granddaughter. Darrin tells her, “They say crying is good for them.” How thick was everyone in 1966? Babies cry because they want something — they don’t do it for kicks.

All of this brought home the idea that we as human beings have been on this bizarre line graph of childbirth. Yeah, a lot of hunter/gatherer babies died, but they were doing some things right, like holding the babies afterwards. Then Western society sterilized everything. More babies survived, yes, but we were doing many things backwards. At least sometimes mid-wife’s and consistent holding are more main stream.

We should constantly be updating out techniques in birthing and in childcare, which is why I was surprised to find a user on a Penn Says video recommending Dr. Spock for childcare advice. WTF? It’s 2009! His book was published over 60 years ago, and advocates putting the baby on its stomach, a prime cause of of SIDS!

The worst (best?) part of the episode was when the nurse insists the armloads of congratulatory flowers Endora has given her daughter must be removed because: “Too many flowers use up all the oxygen in the room”.

Okay.

WE FIGURED OUT PHOTOSYNTHESIS IN THE 1800’S!!

Seriously. Watch Bewitched: “And Then There Were Three” — it couldn’t be more of a hilarious look at how we used to ignorantly roll back in the day.

Amber – Crackle Community Coordinator

Another example of where Bewitched and parenting cross paths, above.

Now that Halloween is firmly in the grave, it’s time to look forward to the holiday overkill coming our way. In order to cope with the onslaught of gingerbread and broiled poultry, Crackle offers you a variety of ways to soothe your stressed out holiday soul. We have TV shows to punch you with nostalgia, Movies to take your mind off things and Crackle Originals to give you the sage advice you need.

If if it’s advice you’re looking for, may we present Barry Sonnenfeld’s guide to the techno gift in a series of very special episodes of The Esquire Digital Man:

Barry gets merry with the The Esquire Digital Man: “Holiday Gift Guide #1″.

Barry Sonnenfeld brings you news on music systems, cameras, the best ways to use Windows 7 and the possibility of naked photos courtesy of the iPod nano. Once you’ve digested round one, make sure to come back this Friday for another round of the Sonnenfeld tech gift breakdown.

Speaking of gifts …

Al constantly gets “Scrooged.” Married… with Children: “You Better Watch Out”.

Ed O’Neill is the best Santa the season has ever seen. On Crackle you can catch O’Neil (star of A Very Retail Christmas) and David Faustino (star of the stocking stuffer, Star-Ving) in the family comedy Married… with Children, a show that makes your upcoming family time seem like a true gift.

If it’s pure escapisim you’re looking for, there’s no better escape from holiday time than the bloodthirsty, Philip K Dick adapted, sci-fi classic Screamers. In just the first ten minutes you can watch a dude get butchered like a Thanksgiving turkey.

It’s holiday decorating with blood, guts, robots and Peter Weller in Screamers.

This Canadian film gives us all one of the world’s greatest gifts, another starring role for Robocop’s Peter Weller. It also delivers another actor/action figure with Bruce Boa who many of you “King Geeks” will recognize as “General Rieekan” from The Empire Strikes Back. For fans of killer androids (I’m talking to you Battlestar Galactica and Terminator fans) Screamers will get your blood flowing.

In short, we’re here to help you get ready for the holidays by helping you ignore them for as long as possible.

CJ – Crackle Blog Editor

She’s funny, she’s everywhere, she’s another year older.

From Crackle: Big Fish (2003)

In other birthday/anniversary news, this also happens to be the fifth anniversary of the start of shooting on the movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose, staring Dexter’s Jennifer Carpenter.

This is the first in a series of profiles to get you ready for the premiere web event coming this January to Crackle: The Bannen Way.

Who is Neal Bannen?

The man known as Bannen is a charming, small-time thief who’s addicted to all the fleeting pleasures the world has to offer: women, alcohol, gambling, risk. His little black book is the size of a small country’s national phone directory, and he once spent a year’s worth of house payments on: an evening with twins, a bucket of ice and a bottle of Hennessy Richard. After a huge night in Atlantic City, he was tossed out at the city limits and banned — all because they couldn’t catch him cheating.

Even with a devilish streak a mile wide, he is his mother’s son. She gave him his greatest attributes… which are are also his fatal flaws, including a thing called a conscience. Unfortunately, a conscience can’t keep you out of trouble.

He’s escaped jail by the skin of his teeth twice so far, and like any dog that’s been kicked a couple of times, he wants out of this losing game. With just one beefy job standing between him and what he’d call retirement, his vices have to be trumped by his conscious, or be his downfall.

With the help of some “friends,” Bannen is about to give a new life a try… or lose everything in the process.

Come Back next week for even more insight into… The Bannen Way.

This is one of those movies that’s so irresistibly classic it’s hard-wired into the DNA of every generation that comes into contact with it, and you know this movie like the back of your hand. Bill Murray: The leader,  Dan Aykroyd: The heart, Ernie Hudson: The hard working convert, Harold Ramis: the brain, Sigourney Weaver: The client, Rick Moranis: The innocent bystander. Add some ghosts, a bitter EPA agent and you have a comedy masterpiece primed for the apocalypse.